The Love of the Ride - From One Chick's Perspective - Page 4 - ZX6R Forum
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post #46 of 109 Old 07-17-2013, 10:23 PM
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Like I said, people ride for different reasons. Every rider is on his or her own journey and some people ride life like they stole it whereas other people have a clearly defined sense of purpose and respect for it. To each his own.
"Ride life like you stole it". I like the way that sounds. What's your interpretation of living that way? I don't feel like I'm living that way, but it sounds like a helluva ride. Suggestions?
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post #47 of 109 Old 07-18-2013, 07:14 AM
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+1 to that, A rare breed indeed.

I personally find myself attracted to smart independent women, I think its because I'm so easily lost, I need a strong woman in my life.

Maybe I need to take a 2nd look at that business of growing up
Here's a bit of psychology for you, and I'm sure MoM will weigh in here as well

What if we look for Strong, Smart, Independent women because we recognize our inability to "grow up" and so we need a new "Mother Figure" in our life to keep us on the right track? O.o


If you want the breakdown on fuel management systems, take some time to read this thread.
For a walk through on pulling FI Codes, check out this thread.
Questions about Flashed ECUs vs. Fuel Controllers? Try this one.
Got a Z-Fi TC System? Read This to get an idea of how it works.
Here's a link to some Kawasaki Service Manuals that I've got hosted for everyone's use.
And please check out my blog for more sage advice and technical ramblings.
Some basics about braking here.
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post #48 of 109 Old 07-18-2013, 07:20 AM
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"Ride life like you stole it". I like the way that sounds. What's your interpretation of living that way? I don't feel like I'm living that way, but it sounds like a helluva ride. Suggestions?
So I wrote this a little bit ago, but your post made me think that maybe I should post it up here as well: Why I Ride it Like I Stole it


If you want the breakdown on fuel management systems, take some time to read this thread.
For a walk through on pulling FI Codes, check out this thread.
Questions about Flashed ECUs vs. Fuel Controllers? Try this one.
Got a Z-Fi TC System? Read This to get an idea of how it works.
Here's a link to some Kawasaki Service Manuals that I've got hosted for everyone's use.
And please check out my blog for more sage advice and technical ramblings.
Some basics about braking here.
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post #49 of 109 Old 07-18-2013, 07:26 AM
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Here's a bit of psychology for you, and I'm sure MoM will weigh in here as well

What if we look for Strong, Smart, Independent women because we recognize our inability to "grow up" and so we need a new "Mother Figure" in our life to keep us on the right track? O.o
ah thats exactly what I was saying, without coming right out & saying it bro.

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post #50 of 109 Old 07-18-2013, 07:27 AM
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ah thats exactly what I was saying, without coming right out & saying it bro.
That's why MoM and I are such good friends
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If you want the breakdown on fuel management systems, take some time to read this thread.
For a walk through on pulling FI Codes, check out this thread.
Questions about Flashed ECUs vs. Fuel Controllers? Try this one.
Got a Z-Fi TC System? Read This to get an idea of how it works.
Here's a link to some Kawasaki Service Manuals that I've got hosted for everyone's use.
And please check out my blog for more sage advice and technical ramblings.
Some basics about braking here.
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post #51 of 109 Old 07-18-2013, 07:31 AM
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She is definitely one of a kind, our MoM.

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post #52 of 109 Old 07-18-2013, 08:15 AM Thread Starter
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"Ride life like you stole it". I like the way that sounds. What's your interpretation of living that way? I don't feel like I'm living that way, but it sounds like a helluva ride. Suggestions?
Riding it like you stole it in this context refers to the fact that some people burn through life (rubber) without deriving any sort of meaning or appreciation for what is beyond the bubble of themselves. Never learning, never asking, never aspiring for much more than a good cheap thrill.

Most of the riders I've met who fit this description tend to go through bikes, and relationships like toilet paper. Repeating the same mistakes, crashing out, and starting all over again. When you steal something, you haven't earned it therefore it has little or no value to you.

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Originally Posted by EvilTwin View Post
Here's a bit of psychology for you, and I'm sure MoM will weigh in here as well

What if we look for Strong, Smart, Independent women because we recognize our inability to "grow up" and so we need a new "Mother Figure" in our life to keep us on the right track? O.o
It depends on the person. There are different reasons for "independence" in people and there are different reasons WHY people are attracted to indpendent partners. Some people are attracted to independence because they themselves are stimulated by more engaging levels of interaction. Independent women, by nature of being independent challenge men to step outside of themselves (letting go of the ego and machismo) and participate in the relationship as equal parts - as opposed to staying within the bubble of their ego and machismo and expecting a woman to fill the traditional role of home-maker. These guys simply want a woman they can take care of so they feel like they have an important or meaningful role in their lives.

Other men recognize and respect the mutual independence of a woman who is autonomous and rides her own ride because he, too values his independence (within a certain scope) and he doesn't want to be held back, but he also wants someone to share it with.

But then, and I think where I agree with you, is that some men do seek out the mommy-chick. The independent woman who will nurture and coddle him the way his mother did, because that makes him feel loved or wanted. Independent women, depending on their personality, are good at this because they can be in charge and mold a guy to fit their needs so long as they throw out a few kisses and hugs (or sex) in return. Frankly, I think this sorta contradicts what it means to be independent, because if you are truly independent then you the conditions of your relationship shouldnt be contingent upong how much control you have over another person.

For me, personally, what I have seen in most (if not all) of my previous relatioships is that I wind up with men who want the mommy chick and assume that since I am independent, that I am also controlling. When I don't try to control them (and in turn I'm not a coddler) they start to feel offended or invalidated. In reality I am very much an affectionate person as a side effect of the connection that I build together with someone in a mutual exchange of ideas, feelings, and passions.

I am opinionated, yes, but most people these days mistake opinionated for inflexible and thus they get the wrong idea and start to feel as though they have no value. They start measuring their happiness in a relationship based on how much affection they receive instead of how much quality time is shared. This has always been my conflict. I value both things equally and I contribute them as appropriate. But if you are in a relationship with someone who doesn't look at the world that way, then obviously there is a barrier.

I don't think there really is a right or wrong way to be, I think it simply boils down to compatibility of values. But independence in a partner (especially a woman) is definitely an aquired taste. Add to it that many men may be attracted to it, but find themselves unable to actually connect to it.
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post #53 of 109 Old 07-18-2013, 08:33 AM
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Originally Posted by MistressOfMayhem View Post
Riding it like you stole it in this context refers to the fact that some people burn through life (rubber) without deriving any sort of meaning or appreciation for what is beyond the bubble of themselves. Never learning, never asking, never aspiring for much more than a good cheap thrill.

Most of the riders I've met who fit this description tend to go through bikes, and relationships like toilet paper. Repeating the same mistakes, crashing out, and starting all over again. When you steal something, you haven't earned it therefore it has little or no value to you.

I value relationships & bikes to much for that


It depends on the person. There are different reasons for "independence" in people and there are different reasons WHY people are attracted to indpendent partners. Some people are attracted to independence because they themselves are stimulated by more engaging levels of interaction. Independent women, by nature of being independent challenge men to step outside of themselves (letting go of the ego and machismo) and participate in the relationship as equal parts - as opposed to staying within the bubble of their ego and machismo and expecting a woman to fill the traditional role of home-maker. These guys simply want a woman they can take care of so they feel like they have an important or meaningful role in their lives.

I want the former, to selfish for the latter


Other men recognize and respect the mutual independence of a woman who is autonomous and rides her own ride because he, too values his independence (within a certain scope) and he doesn't want to be held back, but he also wants someone to share it with.

Absolutely right


But then, and I think where I agree with you, is that some men do seek out the mommy-chick. The independent woman who will nurture and coddle him the way his mother did, because that makes him feel loved or wanted. Independent women, depending on their personality, are good at this because they can be in charge and mold a guy to fit their needs so long as they throw out a few kisses and hugs (or sex) in return. Frankly, I think this sorta contradicts what it means to be independent, because if you are truly independent then you the conditions of your relationship shouldnt be contingent upon how much control you have over another person.

I've had that, And no its not what I'd prefer, I want a relationship that allows us both to grow into the best person
we can be. I don't want to be coddled when I'm wrong, or held back when I'm right




For me, personally, what I have seen in most (if not all) of my previous relationships is that I wind up with men who want the mommy chick and assume that since I am independent, that I am also controlling. When I don't try to control them (and in turn I'm not a coddler) they start to feel offended or invalidated. In reality I am very much an affectionate person as a side effect of the connection that I build together with someone in a mutual exchange of ideas, feelings, and passions.

Hmm maybe look for stronger men

I am opinionated, yes, but most people these days mistake opinionated for inflexible and thus they get the wrong idea and start to feel as though they have no value. They start measuring their happiness in a relationship based on how much affection they receive instead of how much quality time is shared. This has always been my conflict. I value both things equally and I contribute them as appropriate. But if you are in a relationship with someone who doesn't look at the world that way, then obviously there is a barrier.

I don't think there really is a right or wrong way to be, I think it simply boils down to compatibility of values. But independence in a partner (especially a woman) is definitely an aquired taste. Add to it that many men may be attracted to it, but find themselves unable to actually connect to it.
An acquired taste, I like that, But in my case, Its a craving.

............................................SKCUS-ESOR.............................................. .....
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.............................Have Bike, Will Travel...............................

"The world is a book, & those who do not travel,
read only one page"
.................................................. .... - St Augustine.

Last edited by oldninjadude; 07-18-2013 at 08:38 AM.
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post #54 of 109 Old 07-18-2013, 08:47 AM
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But then, and I think where I agree with you, is that some men do seek out the mommy-chick. The independent woman who will nurture and coddle him the way his mother did, because that makes him feel loved or wanted. Independent women, depending on their personality, are good at this because they can be in charge and mold a guy to fit their needs so long as they throw out a few kisses and hugs (or sex) in return. Frankly, I think this sorta contradicts what it means to be independent, because if you are truly independent then you the conditions of your relationship shouldnt be contingent upong how much control you have over another person.
A hate being coddled, and tend to reject any attempts to mold me into something I don't want to be, so that's not it. I think I'm more looking for the solid grounded person that can provide a foundation for me to build a future on. I haven't had a "Home" for five years, just a place that I store all my other toys that I'm not currently using.

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Originally Posted by MistressOfMayhem View Post
Other men recognize and respect the mutual independence of a woman who is autonomous and rides her own ride because he, too values his independence (within a certain scope) and he doesn't want to be held back, but he also wants someone to share it with.
This, a thousand times this.
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If you want the breakdown on fuel management systems, take some time to read this thread.
For a walk through on pulling FI Codes, check out this thread.
Questions about Flashed ECUs vs. Fuel Controllers? Try this one.
Got a Z-Fi TC System? Read This to get an idea of how it works.
Here's a link to some Kawasaki Service Manuals that I've got hosted for everyone's use.
And please check out my blog for more sage advice and technical ramblings.
Some basics about braking here.
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post #55 of 109 Old 07-18-2013, 08:51 AM Thread Starter
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Maybe look for stronger men
It's not really a quest of mine to begin with, but I will also say that I don't think our current culture generates that type of acceptance. I think that socially, we are still very much programmed to control or be controlled. This is part of why I think realationships suffer so much these days, because the norms that are ascribed by gender, for how people should behave, (what they should be interested in, what they should believe in, etc.) are all still very much archaic and consumer oriented. So on a general level, finding a relationship in which autonomy and independence are shared values is going to be more challenging for anyone. Add to it the fact that we are led to believe that you MUST have a relationship in order to not be considered some kind of mutant (how many commercials for dating sites, wedding rings, and other relationshippy stuff are there?).

I will admit that there is a counterculture of people who are bucking that system of norms, and in the next few generations (especially as females make a larger presence in motorsports and continue to branch into formerly male dominated activities) we can expect that to change but for right now its just plain silly how misguided we are.

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post #56 of 109 Old 07-18-2013, 05:51 PM
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Originally Posted by MistressOfMayhem View Post
It's not really a quest of mine to begin with, but I will also say that I don't think our current culture generates that type of acceptance. I think that socially, we are still very much programmed to control or be controlled. This is part of why I think realationships suffer so much these days, because the norms that are ascribed by gender, for how people should behave, (what they should be interested in, what they should believe in, etc.) are all still very much archaic and consumer oriented. So on a general level, finding a relationship in which autonomy and independence are shared values is going to be more challenging for anyone. Add to it the fact that we are led to believe that you MUST have a relationship in order to not be considered some kind of mutant (how many commercials for dating sites, wedding rings, and other relationshippy stuff are there?).

I will admit that there is a counterculture of people who are bucking that system of norms, and in the next few generations (especially as females make a larger presence in motorsports and continue to branch into formerly male dominated activities) we can expect that to change but for right now its just plain silly how misguided we are.
Couldn't agree more. I'm the last of my group of close friends that is still single and with no kids. But the thing is that not having kids is 100% by choice. I've been in two long term relationships. First was from 18-23. Second was from 26-30. In neither one did I ever desire to have children and I never kept it a secret either. Its not that i don't like children (well maybe just a little), but I just have never wanted any of my own.

I'm not exactly sure what that says about me. Maybe I'm a bit selfish? I see my friends lives and I don't want that. It doesn't seem like having kids enhanced their lives at all, but rather made things more complicated. For what? Why? I don't get it.

It kinda sucks for me also because I'm a bit more spontaneous. If I'm in the mood to do something, well there's nothing or nobody holding me back so I'll do it. But my close friends suck. I'll be like "yo let's hang and have a beer", they'll be like "nah, gotta watch the kids", "nah, my girls trippin", "nah this, nah that"... I'm like whyyy did you do this to yourself??! So my co workers become my going out buddies, which is cool but I also like hanging with my other close friends, which I consider to be my brothers.

"Ride life like you stole it". I love it. That's fucking awesome. To me that represents doing anything and everything you ever wanted to do with no regrets. I like to be adventurous, travel, see new places, take a bit of risks, smell new smells. The feeling of being hundreds or thousands miles away from home in a far away location of the map. Encounter new people. Hear some stories... Sadly, aside from my ex, I'm the only person I know that's like this or that's at least up for it. I'm not rich, but my no means poor, so its definitely not a financial thing holding me back, but rather a good traveling companion/s is whats hard to come by.

For a while I thought something was wrong with me. I questioned why is it that I don't want what others want. People are so damn surprised that I'm 30 with no kids or not married. Screw that. I'm going to live the way I want to live, without society dictating where I should be during a certain point in my life. I'm not going to pop out kids by accident, or have them for my unknown self gratification. I'm not going to contribute to the overpopulation. I'm gonna do what I want, when I want. I want to someday be an old fuck thinking back at all the badass shit I did throughout my life. I want to be satisfied in the end.

Wooah, that actually felt good to get off my chest
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post #57 of 109 Old 07-18-2013, 07:20 PM
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I am.

Thanks for the feedback guys. There are other things that make me a bit of a handful to deal with in a relationship. But that's neither here nor there.
I view it this way. I don't really care much about what a woman does or did. As long as you're intelligent and a cool chick I'm good. I think though its partially how I was raised and being a Marine I'll adapt to pretty much anything. If I find a girl attractive pretty much as long as she isn't a completely bat shit crazy woman again I'm fine.

You seem cool on here. You're sassy and head strong along with being knowledgable which can intimidate some guys or for some guys raised really traditional especially in the south it could come across as un-lady like. But I'm doubting they would express much interest in you. Then again my philosophy is if I find out a woman does something or has a view I just really hate why the fuck would I date her, makes no sense to me.

I have a unique view because I was raised southern and traditional and to me I believe that a man shouldn't marry a woman till he can support a house, wife and two kids whether there are kids or not and the woman should only work if she wants. That said I have dated women who had PhDs and women who made FAR more than I did and were wildly successful in their field and to me I think thats actually hot and frankly I think a woman who has a job where she is happy and can bitch about her husband or has a hobby that gets her away from her husband, there would be fewer divorces because people need to vent and like with my ex I had riding so she could piss me off but I'd just go for a ride and then bam I was good no longer mad and not going to end up saying or doing something I regret.

Then again I'm only 27 so I could be wrong

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post #58 of 109 Old 07-19-2013, 08:46 AM Thread Starter
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It all boils down to individual happiness.

Personally, (and this may or may not belong in this thread) I probably won't ever have kids. I made a decision a long time ago that if I ever elected to have kids, I would adopt. There are so many children who are abandoned, abused and neglected every single day and they spend their childhoods as wards of a broken and insufficient system. Some of them are fortunate enough to wind up in good homes with decent caring foster parents but the statistics are actually really disturbing at how much abuse and neglect also goes on in foster homes.

I think more people should adopt... at least one. But I don't think that all people should be parents. I think that to some people, having children isn't as much about wanting to be a parent as it is about filling some void; about wanting another human to validate what a parent can't validate within themselves and it shouldn't be that way. I view children the same way I view relationships. If and when it happens, I want to be on top of my own game first. I want to be happy in my own life and I want to be able to bring stregths to the table, not deficiencies. Relationships (whether you're a parent or a girlfriend/boyfriend) are contingent upon certain realms of expectation. As humans I think we have basic expectations of our intimate relationships: 1. We expect not to be abused - emotionally, verbally, or physically; 2. We expect not to be lied to; 3. We expect not to be abandoned. Beyond that, a persons own "standards" may vary but these are what I consider to be the most basic and these are loosely reflected in Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. As a parent you HAVE to bring those things and more to the table, in fact for the first few years of a child's life you are ONLY going to be giving. So if a person is already deficient, then what is that going to mean for the relationships that they commit themselves to?

The people who are enriched by having children recognize this. It's a top tier of an already fulfilling life they are living. But the people who don't recognize this are the ones who tend to shy away from their responsibilities and become miserable in the lives they've created for themselves. In turn, they deprive their kids of the basic expectations.

*****

That being said, the problem that I see in today's world is that people are willing to compromise what brings them happiness (e.g., riding motorcycles) in order to live up to other external expectations. If your life is an unhappy and unfulfilled one, then it would stand that you should make the changes necessary to bring true happiness (not just a quick fix at the expese of more meaningful virtues). If someone expects you to compromise those things that are essential in your own happiness, then you are essentially confronted with straying from what makes you who you are... why would someone who claims to love and appreciate you want you to give up those things that define you?

This is another huge reason why I ride motorcycles; not only does it engage me to think about myself and the expectations for safety, honesty (in admitting and overcoming mistakes) and fidelity to my own accountability, but it breaks me away from the world where people irrationally and selfishly demand conformity to standards that often contradict who I am and what I believe in at my core (this is actually why I don't like motorcycle clubs - they marginalize the freedom of riding into one political system of conformity).
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post #60 of 109 Old 07-19-2013, 09:09 AM Thread Starter
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Are you asking me that as a proposal, or as an inquiry to my own life goals? LOL

There was only one person that I've ever been in a relationship with that I have considered marrying. Prior to that point it never really crossed my mind. At this point I would say that maybe if I find a person that cool again. However, the odds of me finding people that I can really be into are pretty slim.

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