"Ride life like you stole it". I like the way that sounds. What's your interpretation of living that way? I don't feel like I'm living that way, but it sounds like a helluva ride. Suggestions?
Riding it like you stole it in this context refers to the fact that some people burn through life (rubber) without deriving any sort of meaning or appreciation for what is beyond the bubble of themselves. Never learning, never asking, never aspiring for much more than a good cheap thrill.
Most of the riders I've met who fit this description tend to go through bikes, and relationships like toilet paper. Repeating the same mistakes, crashing out, and starting all over again. When you steal something, you haven't earned it therefore it has little or no value to you.
Here's a bit of psychology for you, and I'm sure MoM will weigh in here as well
What if we look for Strong, Smart, Independent women because we recognize our inability to "grow up" and so we need a new "Mother Figure" in our life to keep us on the right track? O.o
It depends on the person. There are different reasons for "independence" in people and there are different reasons WHY people are attracted to indpendent partners. Some people are attracted to independence because they themselves are stimulated by more engaging levels of interaction. Independent women, by nature of being independent
challenge men to step outside of themselves (letting go of the ego and machismo) and participate in the relationship as equal parts - as opposed to staying within the bubble of their ego and machismo and expecting a woman to fill the traditional role of home-maker. These guys simply want a woman they can take care of so they feel like they have an important or meaningful role in their lives.
Other men recognize and respect the mutual independence of a woman who is autonomous and rides her own ride because he, too values his independence (within a certain scope) and he doesn't want to be held back, but he also wants someone to share it with.
But then, and I think where I agree with you, is that some men do seek out the mommy-chick. The independent woman who will nurture and coddle him the way his mother did, because that makes him feel loved or wanted. Independent women, depending on their personality, are good at this because they can be in charge and mold a guy to fit their needs so long as they throw out a few kisses and hugs (or sex) in return. Frankly, I think this sorta contradicts what it means to be independent, because if you are truly independent then you the conditions of your relationship shouldnt be contingent upong how much control you have over another person.
For me, personally, what I have seen in most (if not all) of my previous relatioships is that I wind up with men who want the mommy chick and assume that since I am independent, that I am also controlling. When I don't
try to control them (and in turn I'm not a coddler) they start to feel offended or invalidated. In reality I am very much an affectionate person as a side effect of the connection that I build together
with someone in a mutual exchange of ideas, feelings, and passions.
I am opinionated, yes, but most people these days mistake opinionated for inflexible and thus they get the wrong idea and start to feel as though they have no value. They start measuring their happiness in a relationship based on how much affection they receive instead of how much quality time is shared. This has always been my conflict. I value both things equally and I contribute them as appropriate. But if you are in a relationship with someone who doesn't look at the world that way, then obviously there is a barrier.
I don't think there really is a right or wrong way to be, I think it simply boils down to compatibility of values. But independence in a partner (especially a woman) is definitely an aquired taste. Add to it that many men may be attracted to it, but find themselves unable to actually connect to it.