Manly bike for sale... :) - ZX6R Forum
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post #1 of 28 Old 12-06-2011, 11:28 AM Thread Starter
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Manly bike for sale... :)

Manly Bike for Sale

Bike for sale

What kind of bike? I don't know, I'm not a bike scientist. What I am though is a manly guy looking to sell his bike. This bike is made out of metal and kick ass spokes. The back reflector was taken off, but if you think that deters me from riding at night, you're way wrong. I practiced ninja training in Japan's mount Fuji for 5 years and the first rule they teach about ninja biking is that back reflectors let the enemy know where you are. Not having a rear reflector is like saying "FUCK YOU CAR, JUST TRY AND FIND ME".

The bike says Giant on the side because it's referring to my junk, but rest assured even if you have tiny junk that Giant advertisement is going to remain right where it is. I bought this bike for 300 dollars from a retired mercenary that fought in both World War 1 and World War 2 and had his right arm bitten off by a shark in the Phillipines while stationed there as a shark handler. When he sold it to me I had to arm wrestle him for the honor to buy it. I broke his arm in 7 places when I did. He was so impressed with me he offered me to be his son but I thought that was sissy shit so I said no way.

The bike has some rusted screws, but that just shows how much of a bad ass you are. Everyone knows rusted screws on a bike means that you probably drove it underwater and that's bad ass in itself. Those screws can be replaced with shiny new ones, but if you're going to go to that trouble why not just punch yourself in the balls since you're probably a dickless lizard who doesn't like to look intimidating.

The bike is for men because the seat is flat or some shit and not shaped like a dildo. If you like flat seated bikes you're going to love this thing because it doesn't try to penetrate your ass or anything.

I've topped out at 75 miles per hour on this uphill but if you're just a regular man you'll probably top it out at 10 miles per hour. This thing is listed as a street bike which is man-code for bike tank. The bike has 7 speeds in total:

Gear 1 - Sissy Gear
Gear 2 - Less Sissy Gear
Gear 3 - Least Sissy Gear
Gear 4 - Boy Gear
Gear 5 - Pre-teen Boy Gear
Gear 6 - Manly Gear
Gear 7 - Big Muscles Gear
I only like gear 6 and 7 to be honest.

Additionally, this tool of all immense men comes with a gigantic lock to keep it secure. The lock is the size of a bull's testicles and tells people you don't fuck around with locking up your bike tank. It tells would-be-thieves "Hey asshole, touch this bike and I'll appear from the bushes ready to club you with a two-by-four".

Bike is for 150 OBO (and don't give me no panzy prices)

� it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
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post #2 of 28 Old 12-06-2011, 11:33 AM
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nice. best part is about the lock. I feel the same when locking up my bike.
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post #3 of 28 Old 12-06-2011, 11:35 AM
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post #4 of 28 Old 12-06-2011, 11:39 AM Thread Starter
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I about pissed my pants when I read this part of it...

"The bike says Giant on the side because it's referring to my junk, but rest assured even if you have tiny junk that Giant advertisement is going to remain right where it is. I bought this bike for 300 dollars from a retired mercenary that fought in both World War 1 and World War 2 and had his right arm bitten off by a shark in the Phillipines while stationed there as a shark handler. When he sold it to me I had to arm wrestle him for the honor to buy it. I broke his arm in 7 places when I did. He was so impressed with me he offered me to be his son but I thought that was sissy shit so I said no way.

The bike has some rusted screws, but that just shows how much of a bad ass you are. Everyone knows rusted screws on a bike means that you probably drove it underwater and that's bad ass in itself. Those screws can be replaced with shiny new ones, but if you're going to go to that trouble why not just punch yourself in the balls since you're probably a dickless lizard who doesn't like to look intimidating."


Damn that shit if funny as balls...
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post #5 of 28 Old 12-06-2011, 11:39 AM
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and when i say budget i obviously mean wife....
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post #6 of 28 Old 12-06-2011, 11:48 AM Thread Starter
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I dont know, my friend sent this to me and I just laughed my balls off man... I sent it to a woman I know and she was like "what kind of bike is this?" I was like OMFG man... so I went along with it and said, "it's a street bike just like the add says"... then she comes back with "you have one of those already"... I about shit on myself from laughter man.. holy crap is this funny... if you guys are married, engaged, etc.. just send it to your significant other and see what kind of crazy responses you get... is worth it trust me...
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post #7 of 28 Old 12-06-2011, 12:09 PM
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HAHAHAHAH "dickless lizard"
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Then the X-Files being, looking like some kind of blue-green Jackie Chan with Isabella Rossellini lips and breath that reeked of vanilla Chig Champa,
did a slow-mo Matrix descent out of the butt end of the banana vessel and hovered above my bug-eyes, my gaping jaw, and my sweaty L. Ron Hubbard upper lip and all I could think was: "I hope Uncle Martin here doesn't notice that I pissed my fuckin' pants."
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post #8 of 28 Old 12-06-2011, 12:17 PM
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iam trying to watch football at the same time and cant stop laughing ... lock the size of a bulls testicle hahahahahahah

dyslexia and adhd dont make for good spelling or gramer
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post #9 of 28 Old 12-07-2011, 05:00 AM
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D'ya think he got any takers?
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post #10 of 28 Old 12-07-2011, 05:18 AM
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D'ya think he got any takers?
oi dont know but we all know a guy on here that would build one just like it.........dont we kwakfreek

dyslexia and adhd dont make for good spelling or gramer
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post #11 of 28 Old 12-07-2011, 07:00 AM
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post #12 of 28 Old 12-07-2011, 08:31 AM
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lmao classic
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post #13 of 28 Old 12-07-2011, 08:39 AM
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post #14 of 28 Old 09-10-2012, 04:25 PM
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post #15 of 28 Old 09-10-2012, 04:32 PM
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holy thread revival, hilarious nonetheless
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