It's hard to not build relationships and it's more tough to let them go. I don't understand why we build so closely to things in life when they can be lost with a snap of the fingers. Though I guess it's more about the journey than it is the end product.
I am trained inScientific Methodology
. What this means is I put my stock in the verifiable, I can conduct test procedures that lead me to a set of conclusions which are repeatable by others anywhere in the world and they will come to the exact same resultsI. I put very little stock in testimonials.
Why do I tell all of you this? It is because what you are struggling with is Faith
. I'm not talking about narrow minded mental Luddite religious palaver. I'm referring to a belief in something you cannot touch, taste, smell, or touch. This is something that cannot be verified in the lab, let alone repeatable by others that will yield the exact same results.
Yes a belief system requires one to place their faith
in such a manner. But what you're wrestling with is faith
in love. The tenuous aspect of relationships drives daggers of self-doubt, loathing, anxiety, hope, frustration, and undistilled joy within us - all of us.
As a primate, we are instinctually drawn into social structures. There are myriad reasons for this that I don't need to get into. And the basis for this is the family unit. Early social codifications - be they good, bad, ugly, eradic, incestuous, protective, nurturing, forgiving, and yes, loving.
And as Saint Paul reminded us, Love
is the greatest gift. It's up to you to place your faith
in the power (& yes, heartbreak) of love. That's what makes the vast risks worth it. Best o' luck in this venture.